Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Porn is love you can see.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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