Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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