The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
