Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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