Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
