in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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