Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i out mim tonsoeep
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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