I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He shit in the fireplace
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
