i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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