sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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