All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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