the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
