Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just high enough for therapy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize