I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so let's talk penis.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
