he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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