how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
