It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
