just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
