We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
