You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Shame - the story of my life.
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