I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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