Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
