What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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