I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
