we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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