i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
