How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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