My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
