My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
