i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
