Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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