the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
