my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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