I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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