Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I puked a lego.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
