You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
