Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
