Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
