who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
