When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
