He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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