More tranny stories later!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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