I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize