Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I supernannyed him into submission
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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