I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize