She's JV to your varsity
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
