i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
