no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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