Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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