Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Congratulations! We have a period
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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