I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
