Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
