You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
