I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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