where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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