A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
