I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
