I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
