you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
