Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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