but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
